Wednesday, November 05, 2003

 
Paying the price
I had the most wonderfull weekend, I partyed way too hard and I am now paying the price with my health. I have a 100 degree fever and right now I am getting ready to go to work.... I cant afford no0t to but with my luck Ill get there and pass out on some poor unsuspecting guest.. I feel like poop. so I got to go ochurch this weekened, I really miss my church I know you dont need to go to church to be a christian but I really miss these guys there is just such a feeling of closeness I feel with all of them . After church we went over to rita pita's house and played trivial prasiut the new 20th aniversery one. the boys won once and the girls minus a player won the other game, girls rule!!! So yesterday after work me and leah and our new friend nate went to the thrift store and leah bought this crazy cool table and chairs for 70 bucks. and I found a book called " How to be a christian without being religiouse. " It sems like It should be a good book although it is filled with cartoons wich makes me question its credability but never the less. I will read it and report back.
kisses
ERIN

posted by Erin 8:16 AM

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

 
And I said what about Breakfast at .....
I love that song..
Anyways today has been a good day I had lunch with TOny that was nicer than I expected it to be, but I realy didnt have any expectations, he made me laugh he made inapropreate jokes he skolded me for cussing to much same ol same ol He is cute though. Then I got some cool new pants my dad bought me that was way nice of him http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/anywhere.htm < thats funny grr anyways I got pants then came home made a few stops on the way got some faygo, took kitty and ricky and tre to the library. CAme home :)
ERIN

posted by Erin 8:22 PM

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

 
Sweet transvestites-drug addicts-no sleep- cops
I honestly dont even know were to start with everything that has gone on in my life over the past couple of days lets see, friday Rock horror went great! I went to the after party, I got about 2 hourrs of sleep I worked all day and then caught the end of Estrela WHO ROCKED!!!! then I hung out at the haven till about 2 when I went to huddle house with Randell and Jordy were my roomate imformed me that this guy named Dave was gonig to stay with us for a while. It turns out that this guy is a con-artist so anyways to make a long drawn out story a little shorter He broke into the 8th street vintage shop and stole a gun and a camera. and the guys were lookintg for him so Ray came into my work because I got a messege to them that he was staying with us anyways I gave him my address. I stoped by the store after work and brad the owner told me to go home and if he was there just to call him and say whats up and that he would come over and that I would be safe. I am so scared of this guy he says he has cancer but It is so obviouse that he didnt he shaved his head and he had all sorts of pills around the house mostly oxy cotton and he had needles everywere. so I call brad and I get online for a second so that Dace wouldnt be suspiciouse then I said I had to go clean my car out. my Adrennalin was rushing I was shaking. I was so scared. SO I am out there about 20 min before brad shows up with the cops. The came in and Talked to dave but there was no reson for them to arrest him so they ran his name and nopthing came up but he says he doesnt have an ID so he could have been ling about his Id stuff. well the first set of cops left and the investigator shows up but before I can talk to him he gets a call about a car jacking and had to go. well Brad doesnt just want to leave so he calls all the 8th street crew. man everyone was there andrew ray john robert crazy johnny and up drives robin to pick up leah for group and she freaks out and calls hanson and will come over well leah trys to get me to go with her to group and I am all no way I am leving him alone in my house so they leve so its just me and dave and a zillion other people well DAVE calls the cops because he feels threatened so johnny starts getting all up in daves face and allegedly tells him he sould kick his ass in theory and just as he finished allegedly saying this the cops show up and dave is all this man just threatened to beat my ass and everyone was like no he didnt dave is all I want to press charges and everyone goes officer johnny didnt day a thing and dave is freaking out at this point and he points at HAnson and goes Ask hanson he is a man of the cloth he would never tell a lie (LOL) ANyways. my lanlord showsup and is like is everything Okay... at that point just me and dave ended upstairs alone he said something to me at the time my adrenalin was so high because I was so scared I dont even remember., He grabbed his bag and threw the keys at me and I walked downstairs and told the cops that he was no longer a resident here and he needed to leave the property. The told him to leave and mr. mondell said that if he ever came back it would be criminal trespassing and he told me later that he was not afraid to go to court and fight it to the death. Anyways I was pretty scared that He would come back so I left and hung out at the shop for a min then at andrews for a good while then I got the nerve to go home. I was scared shitless everysound would keep me wirling. I had a knife. I was sared. God I was scared. Leah finally came home and she wasnt mad at me so that was good we hung out and cryed a bit Its okay now though. I am just glad it is over. I worked today then ate dinner at my dads house. I am home now FATA is playing monday that sould rock I hope. WEll I am gonna crash I think. I am still running on adrenalin GOsh calm down.....
ERIN

posted by Erin 7:10 PM

 
So I have neglected my blog for a very long time I am a bad blogger, however I have been keeping a blurty so I figured I would just update both SO everyone knows about the crazy DAve story so here it is again
posted by Erin 6:55 PM

Sunday, July 06, 2003

 
I am sick
I cant feel anything
I am physicly healthy,
I am spiritually sick,
I feel so numb all the time
I never let stuff bug me
I am sick of being used
Its like there is some sort of sign that says "use Erin, she feels nothing and it wont bother her" I try so hard and nothing pleases anyone, I know that in Gods eyes I am fine but COme on get a fucking grip, in the end thats all good but here on earth shit matters, it hurts to be laughed at and scored on and not be in the good graces of people,
I am so scared
I am so scared
My life needs to change
I need to get out of this house and I need to get a new job and I need to be able to live I feel so stifled and baligerent like I am in this fog and Its okay because I crave some scence of normalacy I just want things to stand still and for my life to stop getting torn appart, I just want somethin steady something non kaodic something ANYTHING and well I really feel like the same person I was before, What has changed, I dont do drugs I dont have sex, but that doesnt seem to be some big deal, I am not happier now, I am not happier now. shouldnt I be happier now, shouldnt I feel different, shouldn't something in me say "HEY GOOD JOB!"?
I feel like some sort of failer, I am failing and I cant stop the run away train my life is, I just want it to stop. STOP! God is so awsome, Why dont I ffeel like I am anything, I feel like I dont matter, If I disapeared tomarrow, nothing would change no one would be inconvinenced, Fuck I hate pitty partys
Erin
posted by Erin 7:16 PM

Friday, July 04, 2003

 
MY dads in CAli, I broke my car on tuesday
I spent 7 hours in the emergency room last night, I nearly cut my finger off cutting chicken I got 3 stiches
iT HURT.
Thank you God for letting me see good in the bad
posted by Erin 10:27 AM

Saturday, June 21, 2003

 
I have this desease called Vertigo, It makes me dizzy ALOT, and most of the time I can just work threw the dizzy spells, only once has it gotten so bad at work that I had to take a breather anyways It flairs up if I like bend over and get up alot, so I was fixing bags tonight and I stood up and got dizzy. so I sort of got my ballence and connie asked me what I was doing I said " fighting off vertigo, and you" I shouldnt have added the and you part but whenyou are in that stage it just comes out.. any ways I went and got water and I was feeling alot better and so I started to go backto the bags,and connie goes CLOCKOUT AND GO HOME ERIN, I said I feel better now Ican finish she said CLOCK OUT AND GO HOME NOW! so I clocked out and she sent me home. I feel so usless, I feel stupid I feel ug, I was fine I mean I could have kept working, stupid gah, I HATE this stupid desease, GAH. I am so afraid when I go in tomarrow I am going to get fired, shit what am I going to do. God please help me.
Erin
posted by Erin 9:23 PM

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

 
I wrote this super long blog about how God is working in my life right now but I hit post and it disapeared.. Grrr. anyways. I just discovered EBAY!!! ebay rocks my socks off I got 2 CDs for 8 bucks, Sorry will I splurged.. Man, I am super bummed because my work wont give me the time off I want, I have worked at Target for over a year and never once have I been late to work you would think that they could give me one damn week off of work. I am getting super sick of Target, Ill get over ut but untill I do I have found I have been getting really good at acting like I am super happy when I am super not inside.
oh well thats all for now.God rocks.
Erin
posted by Erin 8:35 PM